Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Science of Singles

Rachel Machacek has dated all sorts of guys. Since she’s 33 & still single, so she thought of meeting someone who was right for her. She tried online dating, single events, having her pals set her up, professional matchmakers, going on dates in other cities, consulting with a date coach & reading self-help dating books. This woman has worked really hard & she has documented all her dates in a book named The Science of Singles: One Woman’s Grand Experiment in Modern Dating, Creating Chemistry & Finding Love. Of course she met all kinds of people – the good, the bad & the very ugly.

These are some tips:

You must get rid of your checklist. The person you have created in your mind does not exist. If you cling to the list, then you won’t get anywhere. Don’t get all freaky on your date.

Rachel’s worst date was with one of the fans. She didn’t want to date him, but he read her article that she was single & looking for the right person. Her pals & colleagues pushed her to see this person. He was quite judgmental. He even invaded her personal space & didn’t take any social cues. Over all, it was a terrible date, cause the guy had pre-conceived notions.

One of the guys did find out that she was writing a book & he felt used. Rachel had been sad about that, but she says it wasn’t about guys, they weren’t the issue; the problem was with her. It was her own limitations.

Technically speaking, she thinks her book is really cool & the guys who would date her now may feel more confident with someone who writes on dating.

I think getting rid of the list & other such notions can help. Dating all kinds of guys sounds more like madness, but I believe you can find the right person only by taking risks. We think that a particular type is not okay, but usually it turns out they are fine. What I’m trying to say is that maybe the kind that likes you can be a lot better than the one you go after. Actually I don’t like the type that likes me & I haven’t been able to get this thing out of my mind. How can you live with someone of the sort?

And yeah when you’re all open about it, people are being judgmental. They think you’re totally available & you’re ready to sleep with just anyone. In fact one doesn’t even feel like talking to jerks.

As I often say it’s the people around you who make everything pretty bad. You may not even care whether you’re single or hooking around with someone. They just push you to do things. It seems staying single is some sort of a disease & people must recover from the illness.

Maybe the book is really cool, but I don’t see the point of reading a self-help book on dating & finding love. How could you create chemistry? Love is a matter of happening. If it happens, it’s awesome & if doesn’t, then it’s clearly the loss of people.

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